THIS RUDE NIGERIAN GIRL

"WOMEN NEED TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO"

Pardon my French before I commence, rude girls speak it. This shall be a long ass post.

So, I was at the gym .  A lady and I started a conversation. She was talking about how her closest friend got married and kicked her, the single friend to the curb. We were alone in the gym. A dude we know enters. He joins us in the conversation and what he spewed next sent my brain into confusion.

"If you and your mum are close and she is a good mum to you, she would advise you to do away with all your single friends."

I ask why. He goes on to say that "Married life is different from the single life."

"Yes, I agree but does it mean the woman should do away with her friends?"

He goes on to say some more. "When I get married, I will make sure that if my wife has single friends that she stops being around them."

The lady and I look at ourselves and ask him "What about your single friends?" "Are you going to cut off from your friends or it's just the woman?"

His response was "Women can't reason like men. They need to be told what to do. After all I'm the..."

Truthfully, I didn't hear the rest of his sentence. I asked myself,  "What the f***? Doesn't this nigga see us standing here? Are we not women? Frances did you turn into Francis? How could he boldly spew this trash?"

This is a dude I talk to every time I'm at the gym. We gist. Nope, I am not and was never one bit attracted to him. You know those dudes , you see as a hommie you have a good rapport with. A nigga I felt I respected somewhat. I believe everyone's entitled to their opinion and i always try to respect different opinions but this one, i struggled with.

Suffice to say my confused mind now in a blackout said in return.

"Excuse you! First of all what makes you a man better than me? Men and women are same, the only difference are in our sex organs. Scientists have proven this. I am so sure if tested, my intelligence quotient is way higher than most men. So, all the girls you went to school with that took first and those doing great in their careers, can't reason?"

I wasn't angry. I was soooo disappointed in him. 

I step away to go sit down after my squats and nigga goes to take the squat row to a position my shoulders can't reach intentionally. I tell him to stop that and he tells me when I try to stop him by holding the bar and telling him to please take it back to where I left it that he was going to harm me, if i don't step away.. 

In my mind I was like "What the fuck!!! Are there cameras somewhere? Am I being punk'd?"

I readjust the bars. The lady tells me to leave it for him and do something else, that come on, men are like babies, what if he was my boyfriend. I should just relax, He's a guy. He smiles at her and says something I don't hear and they laugh.

Before I could finish processing her baby statement, nigga tells me " You are very rude and that's why no man wants to marry you. I'm sure you don't have a man sef." Oh yes, the usual Nigerian man insult. They also call you a prostitute. Maybe he's used it on other women and it gets to them.

I laugh in my mind that was now totally filled with shock and disappointment. Has this nigga always been like this?

"Yes, I am rude. A very rude girl. I accept and I like it that way. I tell you my mind, you don't agree with it and you start acting like a baby. And you say women can't reason."

I did my squats. Nigga kept making fun of me and kept adding more weights to what I'd placed already. It went from my initial 55KG to 75KG then 85KG. I ignored and kept squatting with the pile up.

He says trying to irk me since adjusting the weights didn't work " You think because the guys at the gym call you our guy and you lift weights with us that you are a guy. You better know your place."

I ignore and take a walk out to the balcony and sit down. 

This nigga blew my mind into a billion pieces. 

Wait, is this how most nigerian men reason? Yes, there are men around the world who think same but I am in Nigeria. Does he know his mother is a woman? His sisters if he has any are women ? His future daughters too?

You go to school with girls, from creche to University. Some girls take the lead in class, some even beat you at sports. You work with them, for them and some go on to earn better than you financially and all that and you think they can't think? That you have a higher and better reasoning than all women do?

 I became pissed. Pissed at myself for expecting better from him, an educated man. I understand why I spoke up. I have heard men I don't know say things along those lines and I looked away but this is a nigga I know. I chat with, someone I sometimes call hommie in my head. Like WTF! 

I was disappointed but truly I had no reason to be. His views are his. My views are mine. You don't put your views on a grown adult and expect them to change theirs to yours. 

I was pissed that I let myself get worked up trying to explain and make a baby as the lady had called him see what I thought. I was pissed that I did the one thing I hated to do (disturb my peace and get worked up) to make a Nigerian man who like most has been told right from infancy that there was something special about him, that he was better than a woman. That even if you are a man that has the worst manners in the world, no future ambition and don't have a kobo to your name, you are better and all women would want you and the supreme knowledge bestowed on you from birth because you have a pipe between your legs. I am speaking in general and not about the nigga.

Why did I waste my time and voice? Culture has told him he knows better. Even all religions have sold him the lie that he is an all seeing eye, a fountain of knowledge that no woman, no matter who she is or has can ever match up to because of his rod. 

Just as I was telling myself, "Don't ever do this again." I overhear a dude who had walked in before the conversation had started, tell this nigga that I must be into him to be all worked up, the lady agrees with him and nigga tells them that I'm not his type. Like WTF! "Oh royal roded master, make me your type." I said in my head. That's right. I'm a single lady and I am supposed to be grateful when I'm liked by any man. Lmao!

Did anybody ask me my type or if I was minutely interested in the nigga?  

So they perceive a lady airing her different views strongly as wanting some of their royal all knowing rod. 

Biko see this rude Nigerian girl's life. Chai! I give up! 

Do most Nigerian men reason this way in their hearts even when they smile at us? I've heard a lot of things from men along the same lines but is this what it is. I have a place? I can't reason for  myself and need to be told what to do?

My shock and disappointment has dissipated.

 C'est pas mon place to be shocked and disappointed, really.  

I would like to say a big thank you to culture, religion, mothers, fathers and all of them who made this possible, for helping us understand that we of the female gender, need a supreme male being to reason for us. 

This rude Nigerian girl will see you next time.