Festus was nice, giving and somewhat an introvert. People thought him weird, couldnot understand him and all that. He was always drawn to extroverts or they were drawn to him. Unfortunately for him, he kept meeting the wrong set of people both males and females. They would use him, take advantage of him and still go about spreading false rumors about him to others. Festus was hurt every time by some of the people he got into a relationship and friendship with.
He decided he had had enough and it was time to step up and do something so people would stop hurting him. He studied his past and realized there were patterns to their behavior he never took note of and he should have. They all did the same things. He needed to start studying actions more and not words. Catch it on time and prevent the same things from happening to him, be smarter so people would stop disrespecting and taking advantage of him and avoid making such people dear friends and lovers.
He met an acquaintance and they got talking. Festus thought to himself, this could turn out to be a great friendship. His acquaintance did something that caused Festus to flashback and pause. “Wait, is this not the pattern those people that hurt me had?” he asked himself. He went further to research on the internet and ask people hypothetically about what the acquaintance actions meant. All the results tallied. It was the pattern. He thought to act fast and protect himself.
The one and only time, Festus stood up for himself, it turned out that he had assumed wrongly. Festus apologized profusely to acquaintance, tried to explain why over and over but acquaintance retreated. Acquaintance was not used to dysfunction and ran away. Festus was devastated. The one time, he decided not to be patient and understanding and forgiving, he had made a mistake and hurt someone else and there was nothing he could do to bring acquaintance back. (suis ici).
Ekene was in love. His new love, Linda was from a poor home. Her one and only dream was to go to the university. Ekene was not rich; he had a small shop in Upper Iweka market, Onitsha. He was so proud of his baby’s dream and wanted to make it come true. He gave her money to get a JAMB form so she could take the exam to get into the university. Linda was overjoyed and promised to love him forever.
Linda came to him crying, one day. Their landlord had thrown her family out because of rent. Ekene got them a better place. He took her family as his and saw her through her four years in the university while taking care of her father, mother and four siblings. His friends called him a fool but he shunned them. Linda was the love of his life and she deserved all this and more.
Linda graduated and Ekene bought drinks for everyone on his line to celebrate. He was overjoyed. His baby was finally a graduate. Things changed after that. She stopped picking his calls, coming to see him. Her family was acting cold towards him. Ekene wondered if he had done anything wrong.
He finally got to see her but she was in the car of Oke Malaysia who was a big boy that had just returned from Malaysia. Linda told him he was not in her class; he was an illiterate and poor too. Ekene fainted.
It took him a while to recover from the shock. He had used money he could have used to grow his business and life for years on her and her family. “Ha! Women!” He wailed whenever he remembered.
Anne could not believe she was about to have her 8th abortion for Henry. He kissed her forehead.
“Baby please, you know we are not ready for this. What would our parents say if they knew? You know your father would kill me and he would never let me marry you for bringing shame to your family. I promise this is the last one. When we get married, then we can do it right and bring our children into this world. I love you and you know that.” Anne listened and got the abortion.
Two weeks later, he asked for a loan of N300,000 to add to the money he had to go buy goods for his business. She did not hesitate and gave it to him.
Anne was at her friend’s place. They were watching a movie but Simi was on her phone as the Instagram addict that she was. Simi’s scream startled Anne. “What is it?” Anne could not read the expression on Simi’s face. She had to ask her again and again before Simi handed her phone to her.
It was a picture of Henry getting married to another girl. Thankfully, Anne was seated when she fainted.
She cried all day. She had seen him yesterday before had travelled yesterday to buy 'the goods'. The money she gave him, the callous bastard had used it to get married to another girl. The girl was pregnant if the wedding picture was right while she had done eight abortions for him, the last one just recently.
Pete had gone through the business contract. It had looked legit and his source was a trusted one. He had sunk millions of his savings. Now, he hears it was a scam. Where will he start from? He had put practically all he had on earth in that deal. From a millionaire to a pauper, just like that? He had never been deceived or made a mistake in his life before. It was all gone. His life was over!
We are all human and we all make and will make mistakes. Most people say learn from them and do better. Festus had learnt from his and tried to do better but did wrong.
Most have inner monologues in their heads after mistakes.
“How could I have been so gullible? So stupid?”
“Something must be wrong with me. This keeps happening. Something must be wrong with me.”
“The signs were there. I should have seen it. I should have known.”
“I hate love. It does not exist.”
“People are evil. They only use you. No one can be trusted.”
Some refuse to let go of their mistakes and live in it every day. They relieve it day in, day out.
Some are perfectionists and try to live their lives right that the thought that they could be fallible and make a silly mistake, they keep obsessing over it.
Some let their mistakes and the people that caused it change them for the worse.
Some let their mistakes define them and judge themselves by the mistakes they’ve made.
We are only human, we will be hurt by people no matter how careful we are and sometimes we will hurt people no matter how sincere and noble our intentions are.
It’s a part of life. No matter how old we get, no matter how intelligent, wise, no matter how experienced we are. We will make mistakes as parents, children, lovers, friends, business people, etc. We can try our best to avoid them. No matter how loving, kind and amazing we are, we are human and will make little mistakes, big mistakes, mistakes. Some mistakes towards others we might get lucky and receive a second chance, a do over but some we might not.
The first thing would be to recognize and admit the mistake, ask for forgiveness from yourself or the person you hurt and let go of the mistake. Letting go can be freeing though hard. Sadly, they might forgive you and not want to be part of your journey anymore. Then some, you forgive and need to do same.
The Bible did say forgive others 70x7 times daily. Apply that to you too. Remember, you love others as yourself, so I think you can only forgive others when you forgive yourself.
I have thoughts on forgiveness; you can watch that by clicking on the LINK; https://www.francesokeke.com/2016/12/forgiveness.html
Thank you for reading my thoughts. What are yours?Image cred: The Ielts coach